Listed as one of the “top 3” most stressful things in life, divorce touches on the many layers of human wellness. From emotional well-being to financial health, the burden can be heavy. If you are aware of a team member that has recently been through a divorce, let them know that help is just a phone call, a swipe, or a tap away. Members with access to health navigation can take advantage of web, mobile and call centre support when they need it most.
A divorce can be one of life’s most challenging events. People may struggle with a mix of emotions. Their home life is disrupted. Their relationships with family and friends may change. They may feel uncertain about the future. Overall, a divorce can have a significant impact on emotional, physical and even financial well-being. What can help, though, is finding healthy ways to cope and to manage the changes that come with divorce.
Take Care of Your Emotional Needs
It’s common to grapple with emotions like sadness, anger and grief during a divorce. You may also feel hurt or confused about what’s happened, and anxious about what lies ahead. Although these feelings are normal, it’s important to reach out for support so you’re not dealing with them alone. There are several ways to do this:
- Talk to trusted friends or loved ones about your feelings.
- Learn stress management techniques, such as relaxation, from books or other resources.
- Connect with a self-help group, and gain insights and support from other people who have experienced divorce.
- Get involved in the community – and make new friends – by volunteering or joining a club. It can help you think more positively and focus on the future.
- If you can, wait until things are settled before making major decisions like changing your job or dating someone new.
- Seek out professional help if you need it. You may benefit from counselling or therapy to cope with emotional stress, or a lawyer to help manage legal problems.
Be Mindful of Your Financial Health
Your finances may be affected, too, if you no longer have a partner to shoulder some of the household expenses. Plus you may face new expenses, such as support payments, legal fees or moving costs. Take these steps to reduce anxiety over finances:
- Get organized. Take stock of what you owe, and what you have. List your new income level, debts, assets and expenses.
- Estimate what your needs will be over the next year, and create a realistic budget.
- If you’re changing credit cards or bank accounts, be sure to update any companies that make automatic withdrawals from, or deposits into, these accounts.
- If you’re consulting a financial advisor or accountant, seek out someone who specializes in divorce. They can assess your financial situation, give you advice on issues like taxes, and help you make a plan.
Look After Your Physical Well-Being
Although your routines have been disrupted and you may be coping with many emotional and financial changes, it’s critical that you take care of your physical health. Otherwise, you risk getting sick and worsening your stress.
- Stick to a healthy diet, don’t skip meals, and try to get enough sleep.
- Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol to feel better. They’ll only worsen your problems.
- Get regular exercise. It’s proven to relieve stress and lift your mood. Any exercise helps, so choose something you enjoy.
- Maintain a normal routine, even though life may not feel normal yet. This will help ensure you don’t neglect yourself. It will also make it easier for your children to cope.
- Take time every day for yourself, whether it’s to go for a walk or to get a massage. Make it part of your new routine.
Remember, It Won’t Last Forever
It takes time to grieve and heal, but eventually you’ll settle into your new normal. In the meantime, by reaching out for the support you need and putting a plan in place, you’ll be easing some of the stress of this difficult life experience.
More insight into mental, physical and financial health here.
Key Websites
- American Psychological Association: Healthy divorce (American resource)
- Caring for Kids: Helping children cope with separation and divorce (Canadian Paediatric Society)
- Family Mediation Canada
- Families Change: Parent Guide (Justice Education Society of BC)
- Government of Canada: Because Life Goes On – Helping Children and Youth Live with Separation and Divorce
- Here to Help: Divorce With a High-Conflict Person
